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Mammas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Self-Shooters

Post image for Mammas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Self-ShootersNOTE: At the fevered insistence of Rollo Tomassi and a few other folks, I’m re-posting this In Mala Fide article originally published on June 3, 2011.selfshooter4 Readers with teenage daughters, pay very close attention to what I say here.


Ever feel like telling the world to fuck off and leave you alone?

I’ve been AWOL from the Interwebs this week largely because I don’t feel like writing.selfshooter5 I’m in one of those emotional sinkholes where I lose all motivation to do any work or even leave the house.selfshooter6 Despite all the free time created by my twisted ankle, I’d rather thumb through the bibliography of Hunter S. Thompson or turn Nod bases into smoking craters in Tiberian Sun than do anything productive. You go-getter types can piss off; a man’s entitled to retreat to the confines of his secret place and mope every once in a while.

But unfortunately, heading up a site like In Mala Fide keeps me from hanging a “Sorry, We’re Closed” sign here for two weeks or so until my mood swings back and I feel like emerging from my pit of despair. So I’m going to attempt to write something worth reading. If it sucks, well, I’ll live with it.

Advocatus Diaboli suggested I write something about the preponderance of self-shooters and other similar phenomena and what they say about modern women. “Self-shooter, ” for those of you who don’t know, is slang for a girl (usually a teen) who uses her cell phone camera to photograph herself in various stages of undress, then puts it on the Internet for every man with five minutes and a box of Kleenex to beat one out to. And there’s enough of ‘em on the Web to fill a small city. It’s one thing to sext your boyfriend with a picture of your tits, but it’s another thing to sext the entire planet.

If you want a snapshot of the sheer variety of smartphone whores out there, take a look at the Fuck Yeah Self Shooters Tumblelog, the number one hit for “self-shooter” (without quotes) on Google. (Be forewarned, it is very NSFW.) The first thing that came to me when looking at that blog is that despite the protestations in the sidebar, the mean age of the girls featured is probably 17. Yep: at least half of self-shooters are technically child pornographers. You can tell from looking at the girls’ youth, the way they dress, and the fact that a goodly chunk of the pictures were taken in spacious suburban and McMansion bathrooms. No doubt most of these girls have walk-in closets that are bigger than the room I grew up in.

selfshooter8 selfshooter2 selfshooter7 selfshooter7a

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Bona Floor Polish

Hardwood flooring care, part II

2006-10-08 08:37:29 by arizonapea2

I obviously don't want wax...the floor is finished with urathane (sp?). I washed the floor with Murphy's Oil Soap, didn't like it, went to KMART and got something called "Mop and Shine" while it does shine, it's very sticky, and not what I want. I want something that will make the floors SHINE and super slippery, like "Endust" on tables, or furniture polish. Any suggestions? I have seen some fabulous floor coatings. Point me in the right direction please.

Murphy's soap suds and a mop, or Bruce

2007-01-19 16:11:40 by wood_floor_cleaner

If he left you some paste wax and a buffer, consider yourself lucky -- you can shine those floors up to mirror finish with just a little work. Damp mop them with the cleaner, first. Let them dry. Then spread the wax with a white buffing pad, let dry for 1/2 hour, and buff to a nice shine with a clean buffing pad. For maximum brilliance, and to take out the buffing marks, fold a bath towel in half and buff the floor with that, under the buffer brush. You'll see your face in the floor when you are done.

I use water and vinegar too but I do use a mop,

2005-05-02 15:08:11 by partyho

The sponge kind, not the ropey ones, and I really scrub on the banana egg sticky areas and use A LOT of water but then I follow on hands and knees with a large bath towel and pretty much dry/buff them. That gets the shine going and it's not too bad on the back because you get one arm swishing like a windshield wiper while kind of scooting along on your knees, the drying does not take long.

Scooter 78" Throttle Cable for 50cc 125cc 150cc Scooter Moped Gy6 Jonway Taotao @60414
Sports (Scooter)
  • It fits for most GY6 50-150cc Chinese Scooters(Mopeds), 50cc-150cc ATVs Dirt Bike
  • Cable end-to-end length 196cm (77.2")
  • Cable sleeve length 165cm (65")
  • Angled swivel mount that turns 360 degreesm

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